Sunday, July 25, 2010

Life of a Wife

When she left her home, her family, her playmates, the very place of her existence, her security blanket; she came bound with expectations, anxiety and hope of a new place, a new family new friends and of-course lots of love. But she found out, rather brutally, that she had a new house now not a home, new people in her life and new responsibilities that forced her into being a woman, no longer allowed her girlishness.

She was told she will have new parents who will love her like a daughter, they told her she was their daughter, so she had to behave and do as she was told. She was told to live in the house like their daughter, but she had to keep her head covered, to show respect, and eyes should be cast down, always. They were grooming her to be a better person. What will happen to her individualism her entity? Was she not good the way she was, and if not why get to your house?

They had asked her how she fared in academia, something her parents have always been proud of, but then they told her she “need not work” as it was not a done in their family. Was she not a part of their family? And does her choice not matter? How does anyone have the right to determine what another adult wants? Is it also not a loss to the country’s productivity?

No sick leaves, no temper tantrums, no discussions and no questioning the elders, because whatever they say, they do it is for her “betterment”, they have seen more in life than her, so who is she to say “All izz not well”. What happens to her aspirations, her dreams and her desirers? Will she have to forget it all for the fulfillment of their expectations of a daughter-in-law?

They told her she had to take up the responsibility of the kitchen, she was the queen of the kitchen, but she could only cook what they want her to, where no preference is given to her taste or her liking. There was responsibility but where was the authority? Why is she made to smile and forget what she is, who she was?

Some of us may not be able to relate to what I have written, but friends, trust me there are lots of people out there whose fate is worse than this too. Let us keep in mind these people when we complain about not having better amongst the best. Please do spare a minute here and pray to thank the All Mighty for all that he has given to us and lets us also try to do whatever we can in our own small ways to help someone who is less fortunate than us.
God has given us the emotions, the feelings that only a human possess, so let’s do something with it. Let us not look down on the victim, but let us be with her, she does not want our sympathy, she wants to be loved, she want to be accepted for what she is, not what she is made to be.

In all our lives, our surroundings, our society, next time when we come across someone who is in an inopportune setting than us, let us take a pledge to do whatever we can to bring a smile on her face. And then feel the smile on your face and soul grow.
I would also like you to write in the comment box of what you’ve done that brought on that special smile for you.

I am participating in the WeBlog's Sleepy Sunday contest! You may read other participating posts HERE


  1. "There was responsibility but where was the authority? "
    I loved this line. It so truly shows responsibility may come along with the power attached,leaving you more as a scapegoat than a powerful individual.I agree with your views & commend your efforts! Goodluck for the contest :)

  2. Hey you've written quite a different type of a post!..I agree that when we complain about something,we should think of those who are in a condition much worse than ours!It's really nice that you could write about it.All the best!

  3. Life of a Wife..
    A very awesome writeup expressed neatly. Yeah every girl undergoes these situations and their emotional block is understandable.. I loved your way of writing.. Congrats Pooja...

    I wish you a good luck for WeBlog Sleepy Sunday Contest - I

    Saravana Kumar - Last Wish

    Yours Frendly,
    Saravana Kumar M

  4. Thnks Rinaya, Jaspreet and esplly Saravana Kumar, he being on the other side of the world still makes an effort to understand our position.
    Most men i know of would start making their complains here.

  5. Beautifully expressed. The reader can feel the pain this woman feels. It's like the story of every woman at some or the other point in her life.

    Like a famous person said, "Too many women are speaking the same language in too many countries. The language of Silence."

    Your writing brings out the issue very effectively, and leaves the reader in a trance. Great, great work!

  6. Thnks AV for your very encouraging words.

  7. So many in the situation you have outlined, such a sad state of affairs.
    Well expressed.

  8. loved reading your blog..truly makes one think and assess one's own situations..good going girl...

  9. you have brought out the angst of many a women in India (perhaps other countries too).. and then proceeded to take that as an example to show that we may as well be more fortunate when we are complaining..
    (am in that state right now..) so it is having a soothing feel to me..
    thanks a ton to have written it :)

  10. You,being a woman must have felt all this first hand.Wish days get better for women in India.Nice post as a whole :)
    Thanks so much for visiting my page :)

  11. @Sahil, Nimi Dr. Roshan R, Sundeep thnk u all for taking the time out n reading my post.
    @Vignesh, no luckily I've been much blessed. But these incidences are very common so on a daily basis we all come across someone or the other whom we feel for.

  12. (I have been trying to post a comment for the longest time and my net connection just sucks!so I hope I can say what I wanted to :P)

    I cannot quite say that I identify with the post because I haven't faced this, thankfully..But I know this happens and can probably empathise..You have brought out the issue really well..I have heard from various people that a person can be dominated only if he/she allows it to happen..But I cannot always agree..Sometimes, these women do this for the simplest reason of keeping peace at home, or so I believe..The process of change has no doubt started, but it isn't as great and far spread as we'd like it to be..Even in the most educated families, a daughter-in-law is treated like a maidservant cum cook cum caregiver cum masseuse cum everything! I guess it is just too hard to break away from the "orthodox" beliefs and family system..I liked how you put it across..Thanks :)

  13. @Turbulent Mind, net connections is another thing in India that needs to change
    It is not always necessary to go through mishaps in life to feel them, rather I think I write better about others.
    Thnks for stopping by.

  14. Bravo! Well-written and how! I related to so much of this! I married a second time when my first marriage did not work out. My mom-in-law is a gem but I know I still lack the acceptance that should come; the responsibility with the authority.

  15. nice topic to come up with
    loved the way you put down the feelings :)

    all the best for contest !

    Listen to your heart !!

  16. @Hiyaa, It is alws like that, but you are a very strong person.
    @Deepa, thanks dear, and wish you the same too.

  17. As a father of two daughters, I can tell you that I want all women to have the opportunity to follow their dreams. The last thing that I want is for them to become miserable servants of a husband, mother-in-law, or anyone else.

  18. That is just who a father would think these days, what makes me say it again, things are changing, but very slowly.
    and at most times it is not the fault of the FIL, but rather the MIL of the house.

  19. it is true Pooja. i know so many from my own friends circle. there are many whose fates are sealed thus.
    very well written post. the rhetorical questions gave it more depth


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