For better or for worse, Happy New Year

I know its Christmas time and the air around is filled with lots of festivities and joy, but it also translates into being busy for a stay at home mom, with my daughter having her holidays, my blog has been pushed to take a back seat. 




But heres wishing that all my readers and fellow bloggers had a very merry and cheerful  Christmas and wishing for a new year that comes with loads of love, luck, happiness and more of good things for all of you. (please leave your wishes too...need them lots and lots!) May it being with it the gifts of joy, goodness, passion, humanity and empathy for all of us. 


Though we all know about the prophecies related to year 2012, we shall all welcome the year with grand celebrations as always, that is what HOPE is all about, such is life. LIVE ON.

The End of the Mayan Calendar is scheduled for December 21, 2012 (give or take a year). The possibilities of what this “end” might mean is an increasingly hot topic on the Internet, in conferences, printed articles, and in discussions all over the globe.  This is because it just might be an incredibly important moment in history -- e.g., the end of history!



For more information on the year 2012 and 2012 prophecies read this article: 2012 Prophecies This powerful article explains everything about the year 2012 and how it relates to the Mayan Calendar. It explains various 2012 prophecies and the significance of the year 2012.


You may also enjoy the article "2012 Problem" by Ralph Miller. It is more of a shamanic view of the year 2012 and the 2012 prophecies. It combines the ancient wisdom of the sacred plant "ayahuasca". You can read this fascinating article on the year 2012 here: 2012 Problem

I also read here ( It says, Every significant Internet provider around the globe is currently in talks with access and content providers to transform the internet into a television-like medium: no more freedom, you pay for a small commercial package of sites you can visit and you'll have to pay for seperate subscriptions for every site that's not in the package.) now this worries me. But looking at the blog, I would rather like to believe that the author has made such remarks to garner more publicity for himself than anything else. Still got my fingers crossed.




How can we forget when how we welcomed the year 2000, even then  the world was going to come to an end, gadgets, phones, machines were not meant to work in the 2000 format, knowing all this we partied harder, so for better or for worse, Happy New Year! 

Destined to...live

With many crusaded dreams,

Painful cherished moments

Cruelly crushed creatures,

Live life to your fullest

We are often told.

Close my eyes see stars,

Even with open eyes, see stars,

Darkness makes them black,

Man makes them blue.

How does one live, love or forgive

What never is what you want

You get only what you deserve

What you are destined, fated

But who knows, who decides?

Child like pleasures,

Man like passion

Woman like misery

No you don’t know it,

No you don’t care.

That’s how I shall keep.

That's how I shall try to

Live.

Compliments

My days’ started off wonderfully. I got the 2^nd most beautiful comment in my life!  (But both of them haven’t come from my husband, or boyfriends for that matter.)

I know I never write about personal stuff much, but don’t know today am typing this, will find out only later if I post this or not.

Coming back to the compliment I received, ohh, the only thing that could beat it was if it had come from my husband, or just any other guy instead of this sweet girl.

She saw me at the gym, lazily working out, I am THE laziest member of the class, even the instructor says so, but I’m also the only one who’s been attending his class from the start, so I guess it evens it out.

After the class, we met in the changing room, she started hesitantly, “May I say something to you?”, and I was like, OH no, here it comes, what could it be, my shoes my top or my pants, or even worse, is there a tag stuck behind my back…gosh!

“Ya, sure tell me” with a small smile that took more force than those push-ups!

“Your face…”

My hands instantly go to my face, what?

She continues, “Your face is very attractive, your features are very nice…”

I relax and even blush, “Oh thank you, that very sweet of you.” I can’t take criticism but I don’t even like getting compliments, it embarrasses me. I know they mean well and good, but still I happen to look at the person suspiciously.

“When I saw you I felt like I wanted to keep looking at you, could not take my eyes off your face”, she adds.

Well now I was almost blushing, has this person been a guy I would have swelled, but as she was a female, made me wonder, think and even suspect her motives, see I told you na I get suspicious.

But later when we spoke and I figured out she was not a lesbian and meant no evil, I felt swell! It made me so happy that I hope I dint gain some inches with the swelling!

Giving compliments is a mean task, especially to a stranger, so kudos to this girl, whose name also I dint get. But even otherwise, one needs to put aside his/her ego and to give a compliment, more so if it to someone of the same sex.

But there are some compliments which somehow sound like insults. Any accolade or praise, even though meant in good spirits, that leave you confused is a bad compliment. They strike you like, no she dint just say that, not in front of an audience!

 “You are looking nice today”, don’t I look nice on other days?

“Your hair’s looking good, where did you get it cut?”, are you saying my hair’s not nice, but only coz of the cut it’s looking good?

“Are those your real eyes?”, no I’m wearing artificial eyes!

 “That dress makes you look thin”, Am I fat?

“Wow, is that a natural tan?”, yes I was born dark, nothings fair.

“You have a very photogenic face”, does this mean I don’t look good in real?

Another of these confused compliments that most of us receive while growing up is, you can do better. Why isn’t what I did good enough? Why you want better?

Your daughter in law is very good”, identified and accepted as a perfect bali-ka-bakra (sacrificial goat) cause “good daughter-in-law” here means, dumb, as in both stupid and mute.

But the most dreaded compliment that no woman wants to here has to be, “congratulations, your baby bump is so cute”, when you are not even pregnant! I’ve stopped congratulating people till I’m 100%sure that she’s expecting.

Another female oriented compliment-cum-insult has to be, “you drive pretty well for a woman”, and I don’t have any words for this one.

Once a very long time back, a friend of mine had tagged me as “a tit-for-tat person”, later she tried very hard to justify saying she meant it in a good way, but I was not. It was for this same person that I had got into a fight with my seniors at work, and she was saying this to the same senior “That’s how Pooja is, let it go”

I remember, I colleague of mine got engaged to this jerk of a guy from the same office, and when I found out, the best I could say was “good for you”, she not knowing that it was not a nice compliment took it as a congratulatory remark.

I know it tough to get over some of these compliments, but the best possible way to deal with them, as per my experience is, to ignore them. Say a thank you, with a smile and let it go, as innocently as it was said, take it like it was not meant to be that way. Maybe the speaker is not as fluent with her language skills as you are. Most of the times, the person’s intentions are innocent, but even it not, thank you works best, as it’s like a missed shot for the person. It will annoy the person when you don’t flare up or get hurt as per his/her expectation.

Have a good day! And make sure your compliment are just what they ought to be.

A Starry Sunday

Yesterday two “stars” were in Indore. I’m not naming them because I don’t want to give them any more publicity than they already have garnered, as it is, these days it’s pretty easy to guess who one is talking about, as the options are limited to those who have a film releasing in the near future.

Well we, ,my husband and me, were unaware of this fact (habit of not reading the newspaper on Sundays is a bad one and needs to be changed ASAP), and happened to take our daughter for a fun filled Sunday at the same place, my daughter happens to love that particular mall’s play zone. But we were in for a shock. 

The moment we entered the mall we were faced with a sea of people, not knowing the gravity of the situation, we assumed it to be limited to the ground floor only. Thinking the floors on higher levels would be better off we started towards it.

But only the ground to 1^st floor escalators (lifts were closed, and even the escalators were not functioning), were passable. On the next level we realized we were stuck, security people would not let us go down thinking we (a least interested couple holding a scared 5year kid) would mob the stars and the audience would not let us go upstairs thinking we would take away their precious prized positions.

As it is someone later told us, that the mall’s staff was all busy keeping the crowds in control behind the tight ropes, so there was no one available at the play zone. So now going down was the only option left.

Somehow we managed to get a “spot”, actually an envious spot, on the same escalator through which we had come upstairs. The view was great from here, we could see the stage clearly and at the same time, there was no-one pushing or pulling us either. We had more than once requested, demanded and even pleaded the security people to help us leave the mall, but they told us, as the crowds was getting larger the gates had been closed so as to keep new people from arriving.  So finally we accepted the fact that we were destined to give the “stars” a glimpse.

Stuti, my daughter, wanted to know where did so many people come from and why, it’s the biggest pool of people she had ever seen, and when I explained to her about the star crazy public, she innocently asked me “so Mumma, all these people have come from all over India?” and she was shocked when I told her no beta, they all are from Indore only, but then she had to ask me where do these people go on other Sundays? To which I had no answer.

After waiting for more than an hour (an hour for us, more than 2-3 hours for many who had come since a long time to get to see these actors), being told another 10-15 minutes for more than 10 times, the stars finally arrived. Arrived they did! To mikes not working, bouncers hitting and pushing the crowds, and whistles all over the mall. Did I mention the air-conditioning or ventilation was also not doing its job properly!

What happened was complete chaos, not at all properly planned, ridiculously managed and even pathetically executed. Temperatures were rising, tempers were flying and people were getting more and more out of control. To add to all this, 2-3 glass panes, huge glass panes, fell off from escalators on the ground floors. Thank God no injuries were caused.

First of all such events, I feel, should not be planned in enclosed places, and even if they are the authorities should make sure their infrastructure is appropriate not for the crowds anticipated but for the actual numbers. And if you are having such stars come, don’t advertise, as it is, word spreads, by leaking it the media you are inviting the general public, then don’t tell them how to behave.

 

On talking to a few of the security people, I found out they had not anticipated such a turn around. Hello, what do you expect? In a country where actors and cricketers are only second to God, who would miss this opportunity, especially on a Sunday?

I think, even our public is to be blamed. Can someone please explain to me, yes I’m an idiot, what does a guy get when he sees a beautiful actress (only after she’s layered herself with tons of makeup), on a stage, just waving her hands to generally everyone or rather no one, after waiting for more than 2-3 hours and shoving and pushing the crowds, and also fighting with the guards? After being treated like a jerk, he still is happy just seeing him and her on stage?

                                                                                                                                 

Hands on Haiku

This is my frist attempt with Haiku, contrary to what most of us think, it is not at all simple to be simple.
Haiku is  a very short form of Japanese poetry typically characterised by three qualities: Hope, Peace, and Harmony, as per Wikipedia. But for youknowthatblog it is a simple 3 non-rhyming lines of just 5, 7, and 5 syllables as per the theme of the week.
This weeks theme is Absence, and here follows my first attempt.


Never have, never will notice
all those years ago went missing  
love joy innocence around.


Shall I say what feels
within the insides of  me
crippling as times fly


But if I do say
presence can turn to absence
so let words be scarce 

Please give me your feedbacks, as I'm sure there have to be some miscalculations.

Time life-line

Randomly Daily,

There was a time when I wanted to embrace you, death

But when the time came a couple of hours I had to ask.

Of all the things when you wake me up, alarm clock

All I ask for is some spare minutes, around 120 would be fine.

Last night when I was battling with you, insomnia 

Tossing right left and center

Wishing 2 hours would just casually fly away.

As a child,

When times were tough and testing, exams

In school I always prayed

Let these 2 hours stretch so long,

For me to study more

And score galore

On the ground though, playground

With friends and games,

Always warned you, time

Come not so soon, give me some grace

And come 2 fun hours away.

Mornings were the same, with the sun bringing light

And mom’s same music, yelling

To wake me, to take me on

The ride of the day

Why not some more time I ask?

What the big deal in 2 hours anyway?

Later in life,

When I was there, in college

There were moments,

When you could have helped,

Make it to class on time

Make it to finish line,

But you were most needed

When…

Those 2hours with coffee and her

Went like a blur,

But another 2 with just coffee

Were a curse.

As of now,

Always running short of time here, office desk

With files flying low while the works pilling high

How many wonders could have been worked

If you just gave me those 2 magical hours though?

Never have enough time to be with you, wife

Just stealing flashes from here and there,

Never have time to sit and chill, show you my love,

Give me 2 hours more on the house for thou.

At the park with my hand in hers, my child

I wished these hours would just pause for 2

Only for the cause of my love and joy

Is with you

Need to go out and pamper you, moi self

For health, care, love and spares

Want to travel, want to relax

Want to be whatever is to be.

Surf Excel

Give me 2hours you, but I’m telling

I’ll come back for more and more!

  

This post was written for Surf Excel Matic #GetSmart Contest on Indiblogger. They want to know what you would like to do If you were granted 2 extra hours everyday ? Do share your views here! 

Join my blog's Facebook Page here.

Surf 2 hours away

Lying on my bed,

No it’s still not late

Though it’s almost 10

But I got 2 hours to spare.

Till the moon cradles his head

And my eyes go droopy dead

So up I bounce,

Think on what to pounce

If Only it was a.m.

Fill shopping bags would be my goal

But as its p.m. closed is the mall

I had some unread paper,

But for that I am late

Coz by the time I’d get done

It would be another date.

New news waiting at the door

With all the things I so bore

I thought of my guy

And what all we could do

But nothing works with him

After he’s had his booze

Back to square one, with what to do

Cause today I have 2 hours to move

Then I do what I do best, 

Google about what to do,

And it opens a treasure

On things from head to toe

I settle down on paper craft

With a stick of glue and paper

But strike I hear the clock

Telling me, my 2 hour’s over.

Why does not it trouble me you may ask,

Cause I tell you, tomorrow 

I shall surf clothes again,

And be rewarded with a 2 hour gain!

This post was written for Surf Excel Matic #GetSmart Contest on Indiblogger. They want to know what you would like to do If you were granted 2 extra hours everyday ? Do leave your comments. And unlike me, don't waste this precious time whiling away. 

Join my blog's Facebook Page here.

Happy?? Children’s day

Today my 5 year old daughter’s routine was like this.

6:00am (Yes before the sun rises) Get up and get dressed for school. Bus arrives at 7:00am.

It’s a very important day for her at school; she has Children’s day celebration (read competitions). There 

was a Spell Bee event, followed by some fancy chocolate-cookie races and some quiz games.

For breakfast they had to take their favorite snack which could not be Maggie, chips, burger or pizzas in short nothing junk (nothing that kids would actually have liked). So I make her cheese parathas (my favorite and boring in her vocabulary).

For lunch they were served the routine food (again boring) but as it was a special day, a single ice-cream scoop was given as treat. Vanilla ice-cream, she detests.

2:00pm Back from school; has her fruits with a bowl of curd. She shows me the cute “Happy Children’s day” paper lolly she got from school. She tells me its “”Chacha Jawaharlal Nehru’s bday today, and so its children’s day”.

I ask her what she wants to do today as it’s her special day. She tells me “Mumma I want to watch tv, Doremon, Chotta Bheem , Mr. Bean…” (Her list is endless, I happen to remember only these many); Wants to eat Maggie, strawberry ice-cream and some chocolates (this is added sensing her mom’s in a generous mood today). She does not want to study or even do her homework, (whatever made me ask her)! I don’t agree, but don’t say a no, thinking its Children’s day.

But time soon flies and it’s time for her evening class.

3:30pm time for her evening class. Have children’s day celebrations (again competition) there too. Kids have to talk about what children’s day means to them. I have no clue what she’ll say but judking by the answers I got I’m sure she does not stand any chance of winning any prizes (she’s mumma’s girl, even I never won much). Anyways I don’t want to dwell on it much coz I have dinner to prepare before she comes.

5:30pm. she’s back and I make Maggie for her finally; that’s the least I can do for her, while she gets comfortable on the couch with the remote.  All this after she promises me that she will complete her home work later, or even the next morning pukka - pukka, I let her go, knowing very well nothing of that sort will happen. But then it’s her day, so she’s excused.

But some time in the afternoon, when my friends told me they were taking their kids for some children’s day celebration (more competitions and promotions too this time) to a couple of places, even I was tempted. But then I thought why? Why would she want to go and run races with spoons in her mouth, why would she want to stick tails on donkeys or even shoot balloons? Just so that I can show off to my friends some extra certificates, gifts or the best possibility was appearing in a group photo in the local daily? Would it excite her? Yes it would if her day had not been like how it was, had she slept till 10-11 in the morning, had not gone for swimming for 45 minutes, she would have enjoyed it, loved it.

But then there are times, when I wonder if as a parent, what will happen if I don’t give her the same exposure that these other kids are getting, would my daughter be missing out on some things? Will she not be as completive as the others? What is it that I need to do? Do I let her enjoy life as it is, or do I push her and run with her from one competition to the other, from one experience to the other? What is the right thing to do as a parent? What if she decides to become a couch potato for the rest of her life? Obviously I’ll be blamed!

It is not easy to assimilate that a child is happiest when she/he gets to do what she/he wants, to be able to decide what and when. So decision taken, I go to the couch to ask her what she wants to do, but I can’t ask her.

7:00pm She’s snoring away and smiling! And here I am having the Maggie and blogging!

Rational Religion

Being a Jain, I’ve got the privilege to attend, (I am forced to listen to) sermons by our gurus. No I don’t have anything personal against Jain Gurus or for that matter any other religious person, but there are some things that I would like to ask them or rather open their eyes towards.

First of all, who are Jain Munis (Monks, and here I would like to talk about Jain munis only cause I’m most familiar with them).

In Jainism, there are 2 main bifurcations, some are idol worshipers, some not. The ones not worshiping idols take their Maharaj Sahebs (monks) and Masatijis (nuns) as Gods. Before I go any further, let me also tell readers who don’t know about Jainism that it is one of the most scientific as well as toughest religions to follow, as far as fasting, praying or other aspects of living are concerned. These monks lead a very tough life, they travel by foot, bare foot, around the country throughout the year, eat only food that they are offered, only when they get it appropriately, drink only boiled water, and use least materials as possible, some don’t even wear clothes. Rest use basic simple white unstitched cloth that is wrapped around their bodies. 

They stay at an Apasra, Jain shrines; only if they are invited during the 4 and half months of monsoon, as they do not walk when it is raining, as it is believed that during this season there are numerous living micro organisms in the atmosphere. Jainism believe in giving AbhayDaan(gift of security, fearless existence ) to all living organisms.

I would like to share some examples for the same too. Like how often after having a bath we leave the tumbler in the half filled bucket itself? Often. But Jainism says that the living beings present in that bucket of water fear that you shall fill another tumbler and disrupt their environment again, so if possible use minimal water, and after you are done, do not leave the tumbler in the bucket. Chopping vegetables, using electricity, wearing clothes, applying cosmetics or even using basic furniture items are a complete no-no (sins).

So much so that Jain Priests wear white cotton mask at all times to cover their mouths so that no form of life will be disturbed by their talking, coughing or deep breathing acts.

Basically to cut a long story short, I am well aware that Jain gurus lead a very tough life, physically and mentally. They have my utmost respect; there are no two ways about it. Rather I hold great admiration for their families too, who have allowed them to take this tough path for the betterment of mankind.

But, (there is always has to be a but with me) What I fail to understand is, why sacrifice all worldly or materialistic things and still aspire to be something above the rest of us? Well as soon as you embrace living like a monk, you are given a stature high above a normal human who is slaving his life away to earn a decent livelihood for his family, it also includes the donations and charity made to these religious causes, including the monk’s bread and butter too, well in-case of a Jain Guru he shall not accept bread, so a roti for him please.

I've wanted to ask them, but never was allowed to so putting my thoughts/questions up here.

I agree you are above the rat race that we are in, but hello, isn’t yours another race all together too? You are running for sainthood, for moksh or mukti? Moksh/Mukti here refers to being spared the misery of being reincarnated again and again, till we don’t pay or repent for all the sins that we commit knowingly or unknowingly.

So when I look closely at the life of a monk, (to all those who may ask me what has given me the right to look into a monk’s life closely, I’m a nosey person) I find lots of discrepancies and there are various inconsistencies in what they preach and what they do(just like me I realize).

Like in our normal world, we strive to achieve the most in the world, similarly in their world or domain they do the same, race for the highest title of sainthood. Like us even they have ladders and ranks amongst them and aspire to have shrines built in their honor.  And why? So that they can conjure up a large following of devotees or disciples (read fan, who are willing to donate generously “materialistic things” to their causes). 

In Jainism, most of these causes are like saving a cow’s life, feeding a needy family, providing appropriate facility for the welfare of Jain Sadhus and Sadhvis.

They all want to be the best preachers, best orators and be recognized for the numerous welfare and development projects that they have initiated and been successful at, sounds familiar?

Doesn’t all this add up to doing good work, social work or just plain being a nice human? But with time some things need to be changed, some “traditional and religious ideas”need to be worked on so as to bring wide spread acceptance among the youth of the society.

On the other hand maybe if people like me and you go out and preach the world on how we should help the needy and donate to good causes, then it would not be so effective, to make their words count or bring about some results these extreme steps many be necessary.

But what disgusts me the most, or rather always has ticked me off, is that even though they are at a higher altar in life, believe in purity of thought action and are more closer to God, they too have succumbed  to petty practices specifically that of gender bias.

Gender discrimination is so deeply ingrained within us that these so called Gods also have fallen prey to such appalling ways of thinking. In Jainism, and also in some other Hindu religions, women devotees are not allowed to touch sadhus(priests) and similarly male devotes stay away from sadhvis(nuns). Isnt that almost like being an untouchable?

Most of the times, we also notice that sadhus, priests or monks are allowed to rise up in the rankings much faster that the sadhvis, basis only being their gender. Even if the rank is the same of a nun and a priest, he is always given priority over her by default. After all it’s a man’s world, be it ours or theirs.

Recently I was reading a book on Hinduism and vedas, ya sometimes I pick up these books by mistake too, in which I was shocked to read about the tradition of applying sindoor. The main component of traditional sindoor is usually vermilion. A component considered to be toxic by nature.

As most of you must be aware that Hindu wives are expected to fill sindoor (for me it always looked like a stamp of being taken/sold/unavailable!) along the parting of their hair, thus applying it on the scalp (where the pores are most open), so as to let it seep inside slowly. It is a sacred and most prominent symbol of a Hindu married woman. Like I’ve said earlier, Vermilion is a toxic substance, you might now wonder why a Hindu married lady is made to apply if it is a known toxic, and well that’s the precise reason for making her do it. 

A female’s life span is comparatively longer than her male counterparts, as we all know, and that’s exactly why this practice was incorporated, to slowly poison the wife so that both the partners can die with each other, and for the ones who dint die a natural death, they were made out to be satis. (An abolished tradition of Hindu wives burning themselves alive on their husbands’ pyre).

Doesn't it sound like that applying sindoor is more like killing someone slowly and painlessly? Most of us are not even aware of the meaning of some traditional rituals that we are made to follow. We just do as we are told, as again asking for logic or questioning our age-old praths (religious ceremonies) is considered to be a taboo in most Hindu homes.

 

Let me know if you are aware of any other such traditions or ritual, love to hear new fascinating things like this.

Oil Parampara

The baton of hair care, in India can be summed up in one word, Oil. The tradition to oil hair has been passed along for generations, but with time variations and changes have also come.

In my grandma’s days they used to oil their hair religiously, day and night, not for a minute you could find their hair dry or not-oiled. Then my mother’s generation brought around some changes and somehow convinced their mothers to let them keep their hair washed and dry on weekends, yes since then the weekends have been special.

But while I was growing up, mom thought it best to oil my hair to school so much that my classmates used to ask me if I owned some oil refinery or something! That’s when I told my mom, henceforth I shall oil only when I don’t have school.

So from weekdays to weekends, oiling was taking a backseat, but in no ways was it going to surrender.

While growing up I often tried, after seeing on television, various oils be it  non-sticky, quick absorb formula, hot-cold oils, oils for winter oil for summers etc etc.; all new and with “Innovative” formulas.  Some could improve my hair in one night, while some more advanced one could do wonders in an hour. Though I dint believe in them, after all tell me how can the oil help if it is washed off so soon, but still, I tried them all. And somehow the oiling parampara (tradition) was upheld. Though I did know that oil did help, if left on my hair for some time, so that it penetrates and nourishes the hair and the scalp.

These days, my latest experiment, is Dove. It has launched its unique hair care range which contains Vita-oils, an ingredient found to be very effective for hair growth and hair nourishment.

Dove Vita-Oils containing products, go deep inside the hair fiber and help lock in the nourishment of oil; making hair smooth, shiny and beautiful with every wash.  This sounds like a product I had been praying for, to have something that will let me keep my hair oil-free while at the same time, not denying my hair from the benefits of oiling. 

The Dove Nourishing Oil Care Range Includes: 

Y One?

These days we have ONEs all over us. First it was the RA-one mania and even before the dust settled on RA-one and G-one, F-one was here! And just like its fast cars, it was done in three days, creating so much GA-GA.  

I’m sure we all remember some years back there was this other fixation with ONE in Bollywood, like Coolie No.1, Khiladi No.1, Hero No.1 even a Biwi No.1 and so on. 

But like our reel heroes, in real life too we all want to be “the ONE”, be it the smarter one, the rich one, the successful one, special one, loved one, the BEST ONE. Nobody wants to be NO-ONE, everyone wants to be SOME-ONE, some-one else.

Since childhood, we have always been told we have to be the first one in everything. It started with crawling, knowing very well there were a billion kids who started crawling before us.

Be the first one to say Mama/Papa, so what if there were again millions kids doing the same thing all over.

Then we had to be the first in class, then in school later in the club, followed by city and then the first in the country.

Why do we have to be first in everything, rather anything for that matter? Why can’t we just be satisfied being good, being happy in our space?

We all know we can’t be the first and the best in everything in life, but in the aspiration to be the “One” we are not able to be the “Happy One” today.

Love life, and always remember you ARE special!

Tress mess No stress, Dove is here

Hair, the crowning glory of any face, (I have purposely not said just a woman’s face, not wanting to rise a spate of male furry) and it is true, no man would be considered handsome if he were bald!

Hair, chemically is a dead part of our body, but brings life and vibrancy to a dead face also! Nothing dead has even been more important than Hair! Our hair can make or break our appearance; it is the defining point of one’s personality.

Since the days of Cleopatra, a lady’s beauty took an exponential leap if she possessed long thick healthy hair, in India we like it black, the darker the better.  

I personally believe clothes, makeup, posture and everything else takes a backseat in comparison to the hair! I mean just imagine, Sushmita Sen or Shilpa Shetty without their gorgeous manes, all dressed up and looking pretty, but would you have given them a second look had their hair been not so kind to them? But they didn’t get those gorgeous locks just like that, yes I agree they have been more lucky then some of us, but even they have to put in regular care and efforts to nourish and maintain their hair.

In India, I personally believe the South Indians and Bengalis have it easy. They are blessed with beautiful long lustrous dark hair. In the South, women usually wash their hair and apply plain and simple coconut oil on the wet scalp itself, no fancy olive or almond oils for them. And their diet also helps them. The use coconut oil and fish in their daily meals surely helps. Similarly Bengali babes also have it in their genes or their fishes! Look at Sridevi, Hema Malini, Moon Moon Sen and her daughters and you shall know what I am talking about.

But not all of us are so blessed, so we need to put in extra efforts and make the most of what we have.

First of all there are some ground rules that all of us should know, understand and remember.

1.       No matter what you can never change your hair type.

2.       Recognize your hair type then style and nourish it accordingly.

3.       Unclean hair translates into unhealthy hair.

4.       All expensive products need not be best products.

5.       Chemical treatments will definitely harm your hair.

6.       Natural remedies cause least damage, but are also more tedious.

7.       No substitute to eating fresh green veggies and fruits.

There are two ways in which you can better the quality of your hair. Internally and externally.

Internally, not only for hair these 5 things will help in many matters of the body.

1. Eat fresh green vegetables and fruits. Especially which provide vitamin A, B, proteins and folic acid. (Green Peas and Dals help). Once I was suggested to take Vit A and C for forty days every morning with my breakfast and then take a gap of 10 days; continue again for 40 days, to help me control my excessive haifall.
2. Drink around 3-4 liters of water every day. You should ideally drink 3-4 glasses of water first thing in the morning and another 3-4 glasses at bed time. The rest you can have in any other flavored fluids, less sugar and not chilled.
3. Exercise for atleast 30minutes in a day. Some yoga poses like Sarvangasan, Matsyasan, Poorna Halasan are very beneficial for your hair. They improve blood circulation to the head and also boost hair growth.
4. Live a stress-free tension-less life. Easy to say, meditation and deep breathing exercises help.
5. Avoid dirt and pollution as you can. You could use a cotton cloth to cover your hair, apply a good quality hair serum or leave on conditioner which acts like a protective layer on your hair. 

Externally, you can choose two types of products, one which make your hair look healthy and the other which actually make them healthy. I prefer the later one, because if my hair is healthy they will even look healthy in some time. It’s just that products that make my hair look pretty show instant results, while the other tries my patience.

Like for example, if I were to shampoo my hair (using any shampoo available)and give it a good blow dry it will shine and look nice instantly, but instead if I use a good nourishing shampoo specifically  suitable for my hair type and let it dry on its own, my hair would not look so great initially, but in the long run, my hair won’t be damaged either.

Aloe Vera is one ingredient that can help your hair (and even your skin for that matter) both ways. Drinking Aloe Vera juice (from people who have tried it, eeekkkss!), helps makes hair soft and healthy, and by applying it on the scalp helps to­­­­­­­­­­­­ control hair fall and make the scalp germ free.  

Consuming vitamin supplements of A and B, Evening Primrose oil and Triphla (an Ayurvedic mix of amla, harar and bahera) are said to make our hair healthy.

If we were to notice simple hair damage signals early enough then we can take corrective steps to curb or reverse the damage.  Here’s a list of some hair damage signs, which can be controlled with proper care.

Signs of Hair damage

• Rough or dry hair – sufficient moisturizing and use hair serums
• Excessive Hair fall – eat healthy and stay stress free
• Dandruff - yoghurt, lemon, and a clean scalp helps
• Split ends –regular  haircuts and hot oil treatment
• Greying of hair – needs special professional help

In all the above cases, we need to delve into the root cause and them find the right solution. 

Here's my cleansing routine. 

                                                                                            

Shampoo Use a shampoo which suits your hair type, your quality and your daily routine.Shampoo twice so as to clean it thoroughly.  

Condition Always condition your hair after washing it and towel drying it. But make sure your dont let the conditioner penetrate into your scalp. Rinse throughly.

Serum A serum acts like an outer coat for your hair, shielding it from the sun, pollution and dirt. 

Mask Use it once a week to help you deep condition your hair. Use this from the middle of your hair to the ends, not to be used on the scalp.Leave it on for 5-7 minutes and then wash it off with lukewarm water.

Enjoy the difference.

I'm not at all a know-it-all person, nor any professional, these advices are received from various sources, including my granny, mom, friends or my beauticians. Some of it is also accumulated from reading various magazines or articles on beauty and hair. So please excuse my ignorance or any mistakes and before taking any medications or supplements do consult a specialists, like I've  said earlier, each one is different  and so is our hair. Please also feel free and do correct me.

Here gals and guys help me put together a list of real, fun, absurd things, ingredients, methods that you have heard, tried or been advised/suggested to try to help better your hair! Sounds fun? Then jot down yours as  comments under this post!  (Multiple entries allowed the more the merrier!!)

All images used in this post are taken from various Dove advertisements on the net. This post is for the Dove competition on Indiblogger.