This is my frist attempt with Haiku, contrary to what most of us think, it is not at all simple to be simple.
Haiku is a very short form of Japanese poetry typically characterised by three qualities: Hope, Peace, and Harmony, as per Wikipedia. But for youknowthatblog it is a simple 3 non-rhyming lines of just 5, 7, and 5 syllables as per the theme of the week.
This weeks theme is Absence, and here follows my first attempt.
Never have, never will notice
all those years ago went missing
love joy innocence around.
Shall I say what feels
within the insides of me
crippling as times fly
But if I do say
presence can turn to absence
so let words be scarce
Haiku is a very short form of Japanese poetry typically characterised by three qualities: Hope, Peace, and Harmony, as per Wikipedia. But for youknowthatblog it is a simple 3 non-rhyming lines of just 5, 7, and 5 syllables as per the theme of the week.
This weeks theme is Absence, and here follows my first attempt.
Never have, never will noticeall those years ago went missing
love joy innocence around.
Shall I say what feels
within the insides of me
crippling as times fly
But if I do say
presence can turn to absence
so let words be scarce
Please give me your feedbacks, as I'm sure there have to be some miscalculations.
Presence can turn to absence- lovely Haiku!
ReplyDeleteI would love to give feedbacks BUt I am not good at all this and dont think i can say critically..
ReplyDeleteBut to me this sound lovely , beautiful use of words :)
Bikram's
@Rahul thank you, what I really meant was, there are times when we don say things about our past so as to keep our pressent secure. Very often we keep mum, hide our opinions so as not to hurt people around us. I guess happens to all of us.
ReplyDelete@Bikramjeet thanks a lot. So what if you don know abt haiku, as long as the words sound and feel nice, thats all that matters. What I've always appreciated about you is you always are very motivating and supportive of others opinions and thoughts. I've seen this not just on my blog but many others too.
Very nice. Seems very good for first effort.
ReplyDeletenice job for a first....
ReplyDeleteThe first one is a good attempt. Try nature as a metaphor.
ReplyDelete@Sunil, Rahul, thanks a lot. Just warming up...!
ReplyDelete@Anil, Thanks, I know Haiku is mostly about Nature but this topic was given as a theme by youknowthatblog.com. They have a different weekly themes.