Compliments

My days’ started off wonderfully. I got the 2^nd most beautiful comment in my life!  (But both of them haven’t come from my husband, or boyfriends for that matter.)

I know I never write about personal stuff much, but don’t know today am typing this, will find out only later if I post this or not.

Coming back to the compliment I received, ohh, the only thing that could beat it was if it had come from my husband, or just any other guy instead of this sweet girl.

She saw me at the gym, lazily working out, I am THE laziest member of the class, even the instructor says so, but I’m also the only one who’s been attending his class from the start, so I guess it evens it out.

After the class, we met in the changing room, she started hesitantly, “May I say something to you?”, and I was like, OH no, here it comes, what could it be, my shoes my top or my pants, or even worse, is there a tag stuck behind my back…gosh!

“Ya, sure tell me” with a small smile that took more force than those push-ups!

“Your face…”

My hands instantly go to my face, what?

She continues, “Your face is very attractive, your features are very nice…”

I relax and even blush, “Oh thank you, that very sweet of you.” I can’t take criticism but I don’t even like getting compliments, it embarrasses me. I know they mean well and good, but still I happen to look at the person suspiciously.

“When I saw you I felt like I wanted to keep looking at you, could not take my eyes off your face”, she adds.

Well now I was almost blushing, has this person been a guy I would have swelled, but as she was a female, made me wonder, think and even suspect her motives, see I told you na I get suspicious.

But later when we spoke and I figured out she was not a lesbian and meant no evil, I felt swell! It made me so happy that I hope I dint gain some inches with the swelling!

Giving compliments is a mean task, especially to a stranger, so kudos to this girl, whose name also I dint get. But even otherwise, one needs to put aside his/her ego and to give a compliment, more so if it to someone of the same sex.

But there are some compliments which somehow sound like insults. Any accolade or praise, even though meant in good spirits, that leave you confused is a bad compliment. They strike you like, no she dint just say that, not in front of an audience!

 “You are looking nice today”, don’t I look nice on other days?

“Your hair’s looking good, where did you get it cut?”, are you saying my hair’s not nice, but only coz of the cut it’s looking good?

“Are those your real eyes?”, no I’m wearing artificial eyes!

 “That dress makes you look thin”, Am I fat?

“Wow, is that a natural tan?”, yes I was born dark, nothings fair.

“You have a very photogenic face”, does this mean I don’t look good in real?

Another of these confused compliments that most of us receive while growing up is, you can do better. Why isn’t what I did good enough? Why you want better?

Your daughter in law is very good”, identified and accepted as a perfect bali-ka-bakra (sacrificial goat) cause “good daughter-in-law” here means, dumb, as in both stupid and mute.

But the most dreaded compliment that no woman wants to here has to be, “congratulations, your baby bump is so cute”, when you are not even pregnant! I’ve stopped congratulating people till I’m 100%sure that she’s expecting.

Another female oriented compliment-cum-insult has to be, “you drive pretty well for a woman”, and I don’t have any words for this one.

Once a very long time back, a friend of mine had tagged me as “a tit-for-tat person”, later she tried very hard to justify saying she meant it in a good way, but I was not. It was for this same person that I had got into a fight with my seniors at work, and she was saying this to the same senior “That’s how Pooja is, let it go”

I remember, I colleague of mine got engaged to this jerk of a guy from the same office, and when I found out, the best I could say was “good for you”, she not knowing that it was not a nice compliment took it as a congratulatory remark.

I know it tough to get over some of these compliments, but the best possible way to deal with them, as per my experience is, to ignore them. Say a thank you, with a smile and let it go, as innocently as it was said, take it like it was not meant to be that way. Maybe the speaker is not as fluent with her language skills as you are. Most of the times, the person’s intentions are innocent, but even it not, thank you works best, as it’s like a missed shot for the person. It will annoy the person when you don’t flare up or get hurt as per his/her expectation.

Have a good day! And make sure your compliment are just what they ought to be.