Tuesday, December 13, 2011


My days’ started off wonderfully. I got the 2nd most beautiful comment in my life!  (But both of them haven’t come from my husband, or boyfriends for that matter.)
I know I never write about personal stuff much, but don’t know today am typing this, will find out only later if I post this or not.
Coming back to the compliment I received, ohh, the only thing that could beat it was if it had come from my husband, or just any other guy instead of this sweet girl.
She saw me at the gym, lazily working out, I am THE laziest member of the class, even the instructor says so, but I’m also the only one who’s been attending his class from the start, so I guess it evens it out.
After the class, we met in the changing room, she started hesitantly, “May I say something to you?”, and I was like, OH no, here it comes, what could it be, my shoes my top or my pants, or even worse, is there a tag stuck behind my back…gosh!
“Ya, sure tell me” with a small smile that took more force than those push-ups!
“Your face…”
My hands instantly go to my face, what?
She continues, “Your face is very attractive, your features are very nice…”
I relax and even blush, “Oh thank you, that very sweet of you.” I can’t take criticism but I don’t even like getting compliments, it embarrasses me. I know they mean well and good, but still I happen to look at the person suspiciously.
“When I saw you I felt like I wanted to keep looking at you, could not take my eyes off your face”, she adds.
Well now I was almost blushing, has this person been a guy I would have swelled, but as she was a female, made me wonder, think and even suspect her motives, see I told you na I get suspicious.
But later when we spoke and I figured out she was not a lesbian and meant no evil, I felt swell! It made me so happy that I hope I dint gain some inches with the swelling!

Giving compliments is a mean task, especially to a stranger, so kudos to this girl, whose name also I dint get. But even otherwise, one needs to put aside his/her ego and to give a compliment, more so if it to someone of the same sex.
But there are some compliments which somehow sound like insults. Any accolade or praise, even though meant in good spirits, that leave you confused is a bad compliment. They strike you like, no she dint just say that, not in front of an audience!
 “You are looking nice today”, don’t I look nice on other days?
“Your hair’s looking good, where did you get it cut?”, are you saying my hair’s not nice, but only coz of the cut it’s looking good?
“Are those your real eyes?”, no I’m wearing artificial eyes!
 “That dress makes you look thin”, Am I fat?
“Wow, is that a natural tan?”, yes I was born dark, nothings fair.
“You have a very photogenic face”, does this mean I don’t look good in real?
Another of these confused compliments that most of us receive while growing up is, you can do better. Why isn’t what I did good enough? Why you want better?
Your daughter in law is very good”, identified and accepted as a perfect bali-ka-bakra (sacrificial goat) cause “good daughter-in-law” here means, dumb, as in both stupid and mute.
But the most dreaded compliment that no woman wants to here has to be, “congratulations, your baby bump is so cute”, when you are not even pregnant! I’ve stopped congratulating people till I’m 100%sure that she’s expecting.
Another female oriented compliment-cum-insult has to be, “you drive pretty well for a woman”, and I don’t have any words for this one.
Once a very long time back, a friend of mine had tagged me as “a tit-for-tat person”, later she tried very hard to justify saying she meant it in a good way, but I was not. It was for this same person that I had got into a fight with my seniors at work, and she was saying this to the same senior “That’s how Pooja is, let it go”
I remember, I colleague of mine got engaged to this jerk of a guy from the same office, and when I found out, the best I could say was “good for you”, she not knowing that it was not a nice compliment took it as a congratulatory remark.

I know it tough to get over some of these compliments, but the best possible way to deal with them, as per my experience is, to ignore them. Say a thank you, with a smile and let it go, as innocently as it was said, take it like it was not meant to be that way. Maybe the speaker is not as fluent with her language skills as you are. Most of the times, the person’s intentions are innocent, but even it not, thank you works best, as it’s like a missed shot for the person. It will annoy the person when you don’t flare up or get hurt as per his/her expectation.

Have a good day! And make sure your compliment are just what they ought to be.


  1. Wow, you rock again :) liked d way u expressed, i was trying for a similar post, if you see some post from me related to this, I AM NOT FOLLOWING PLAGIARISM hehe :)
    happy to compliments first and my compliment is I HATE THIS POST :P
    lol for fun, liked it as usual,,, much needed post of today, people never acknowledges others work :9 sad but true, there are only few true commentators left :9 for example DEEPAK KARTHIK :P :P :P

  2. this was a lovely post as usual and believe me I mean it! :)

  3. :) liked the humor entwined use of words.. good work.. keep entertaining us..

  4. Hi, DeEpAK KaRtHiK I'm getting used to seeing yous comments 1st on my posts, its a good habit please do continue!

    YA most of the times, we compliment cause we have to, we are expected to or to masskafy people around us, trust me its an art. Now I'm wondering why I dint add this aspect in the post, maybe you can, how people who say only nice and sweet things (though they may not mean a word of it) are always preferred over people who say the truth, how much buttering is accepted though not appreciated in life.

    Looking forward to your post, and dont worry, I'm with those who think imitation is the best form of flattery.

  5. @ magiceye said...
    Ya this I wrote while eying you Vada Pau, had to cut short a long post!

  6. @dhanya, thanks and welcome to my blog!

  7. vow until i read this i never thought of the other side of some compliments... :( :(

  8. SuKupedia, that good, ignorance or as I like to say, Innocence is bliss. Now you shall keep wondering and thinking if the compliment was meant to be what it is or not..Sorry...

  9. Very nice post, Pooja. And by that of course I mean that all your other posts are crap.:P

    Seriously though, I find that we Indians stay away from bad habits like saying "Thank you", "sorry" or giving compliments to colleagues or friends, let alone strangers.

    One that I'd like to correct you on, based on my understanding photogenic is a bigger compliment than cute. In real life, lots of people have a nice face, especially if they smile a lot even a not-so-cute face will look attractive. But photogenic? The camera is very cruel and unforgiving, it would take a really pretty face to look good on camera, even if he/she looks good in real life. I like to play with the camera both still and video and I can say this from my experience.

    I would still be afraid to call you photogenic though, you might throw a flower at me..with the flowerpot!

  10. Ya Sunil, we as Indians are not always frank or honest about our opinions or views, we are not as expressive as some western citizens. Somehow its been seeped in us to be quite, be accomodating and not call the emperor naked.

    When you say nice post, it means this post is nice. Period. But had you said this is a nice one, different from your other posts, I'd the flowers and the pot. So you are spared.

    Its a huge misconception that cute means nice, cute is as stupid. But people think cute is good, cute for them.

    Looking good on camera does not always mean you have a pretty face, best examples are some of our film personalities.

  11. ah well its easy for me and works fine with me .. I never get compliments :) yayyyyyyyy

    he he he he

    when i had come ot uk it ws strange for me for here its jsut natural to go upto a lady and say oh you are looking lovely, or say hey flower that top looks good on you or hey love etc etc

    imagine if i said that to someone in india they will come with shoes at me :)

    but let me tell you, you look great in your picture :) take care now ..


  12. Oh ya I can imagine how different the scene would have been India. First you'd have got a glare, with a slap followed by a long lecture asking if you dont have females in your family, etc etc. Till then our aam janta would join the tamasha and get some bites for themselves too.

    But personally, I feel its a good thing to compliment strangers as long as its in good spirits, makes anyone's day. Like you just made mine. Thanks.

  13. i blush too at compliments & takes me a couple of seconds to respond with a thanks

    the baby bump one takes the cake! woah!!! no like, no like :(

  14. :D People tell me "You have a very photogenic face" so often and I do not like it :D

    I get suspicious too with compliments, I tend to look deep in the person's eyes, as if s/he has an agenda. In virtual world too if someone compliments about my writing, I get suspicious!

    I used to gym here, the ladies change without bothering about who's standing next..they just remove clothes! I used to feel odd :( although I studied in hostel, but here I didn't know if I looked someone who is topless, in the eye, how will they react! Forget complimenting someone in the gym :D


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