Monday, August 2, 2010

Greener Grass

These days I’m coming across blogs indulging in male-bashing in profusion! Though some of them are more related to the unfair and disadvantageous position that the Indian girls are in, they all think or portray to show our male specimens in an envious state. I also have enjoyed indulging myself in the same playing field, but got thinking from their side and realized all is not well there either.

Since their inception, they have been told they have to study well, read be an engineer or a doctor and earn for the family.  They have been brain-fed that they have to maintain their “MACHOISM”, and be a “MAN” at all times, at all costs.

Being a man, when he’s just a kid means having to excel in all fields, be able to play cricket, hockey basketball etc, get hurt, and fall and get bruised all over but allowed to cry, fear of being called a girl. He is expected to get good grades; I mean the best grades and scores in school so as not to disappoint the parents. Accomplish all their expectations, which include being Sachin Tendulkar, Shah Rukh Khan and also a doctor or engineer at the least, all at the same time! Can you imagine how much a boy is pressurized at this state? Does anyone ever ask him what he wants to be? What is it that he's interested in? At the end of it, its his life.

When he turns into an adolescent, he has his peers to help make matters worse for him. Now he is expected to be seen around with the best “BABE” in town, has to be in the race of loosing his virginity whether he wants to or not, so as to be called a “STUD”. Being able to stay up late nights to drink and smoke irrespective of his choice and taste is another requirement to be fulfilled. Anyone who falls short of the above stipulations is considered an uncle, or a bore!  

After being married, he’s had it all! Imagine this, the first scenario, marries a girl of his parent’s choice, who was selected after being made to go through some funny some humiliating “tests”, was selected to be their Daughter-in-law, now they don’t want her to do this or do that, the wife complains to him, but of course, they are his parents! And the poor husband, (hus-I-band-H, where hasi means smile and bandh means shut!) is left to device a solution to pacify both his parents and his wife. On the other end, there is no reprieve either. It’s a loose-loose situation for him on both ends! A ritual of complaints, suggestions and disproval begins, thus ruining his confidence and self worthiness.

Then as a father, he has to be the provider for all of them, the parents, the wife and the kids. Can he ever put up his hands and feet and say, “No I will not go to office, instead I want to spend time with my family and kids so will sell of the properties, retire early and enjoy a nice life”, now people will then call him indolent and apathetic.
To be a man, is a manly affair. They go through if not more equal number of tumults in their life too, but for a man it is not so easy to put it into words as it is for a women. We talk it out, share it with someone close, and try to get over it with tears and coffee, now we even blog about it, but how many men can do it?
At the end of this I would like to add; I am not at all saying that we Venusians are in a better situation than the Martians, but in some exceptional cases, there are some males who are in a worse situation than some of my sisters. Though if making a general case, the circumstances of the Indian females is very bad and something special needs to be done about it.

Read on..


  1. It is not to say that men don't go through their share of tumults in life. Men and women both have their own shares. But women carry an additional burden of being treated as second class citizens. :)

    A thought provoking post. :)

  2. Thats so true, but there are some males who have been dealt a very unfair hand.


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