A Father's Death

I want him to die.

God please kill him.

Take him away forever.

I wish to kill him myself.

Give him death and free him from the pain and the torture.

I could not see him in this trauma, God spare us.

These thought plagued my head. I told him to dream, to live and to survive, I said we were fighters, but today it’s best he leaves and goes away. To a better place.

Last year he was diagnoised of cancer. They said he had a good chance if I would go for chemo. We said we will fight death, we can and we will survive. Never knowing it was our last fight. Each treatemnt weaker than the previous one, each taking a heavy toll on both of us.

His skin was peeling and burning, his body aching and crying, medications and radiations all being worse than the disease. I could not hold his hands, so was clinging to his hospital robe, chanting and praying to wane the germs away. But sometime that night I lost him.

I cried, cired lots, not knowing if they were tears of relief or of loss. Relief cause my son was free from his misery and in peace loss because he was the only person I had. Today my son din't die alone, I as a father also died.

But at the end of it I knew he was in a better place, in peace and without misery. 

Have you ever had such magical moment when you felt such strong emotions? Although a dream, it seems so real to me! I am sure you have a story to tell too, share your thought as a comment here or on the Close-Up Facebook page. This post is participating in a contest, please vote for me on Indiblogger by clicking on promote there, if you want me to win! Thanks!