Monday, January 31, 2011

A Father's Death

I want him to die.
God please kill him.
Take him away forever.
I wish to kill him myself.
Give him death and free him from the pain and the torture.
I could not see him in this trauma, God spare us.

These thought plagued my head. I told him to dream, to live and to survive, I said we were fighters, but today it’s best he leaves and goes away. To a better place.

Last year he was diagnoised of cancer. They said he had a good chance if I would go for chemo. We said we will fight death, we can and we will survive. Never knowing it was our last fight. Each treatemnt weaker than the previous one, each taking a heavy toll on both of us.

His skin was peeling and burning, his body aching and crying, medications and radiations all being worse than the disease. I could not hold his hands, so was clinging to his hospital robe, chanting and praying to wane the germs away. But sometime that night I lost him.

I cried, cired lots, not knowing if they were tears of relief or of loss. Relief cause my son was free from his misery and in peace loss because he was the only person I had. Today my son din't die alone, I as a father also died.

But at the end of it I knew he was in a better place, in peace and without misery. 

Have you ever had such magical moment when you felt such strong emotions? Although a dream, it seems so real to me! I am sure you have a story to tell too, share your thought as a comment here or on the Close-Up Facebook page. This post is participating in a contest, please vote for me on Indiblogger by clicking on promote there, if you want me to win! Thanks!


  1. without sounding heartless , Please tell me this is fiction

    SAD i hope and pray no one , or no parent or a father has to go through this seeing there kid like this .. ITs not suppsoed to be this way

    If i was in this place I would die much earlier then watch my son like this




  2. oow..yes is fictional, but i know of a frnd who lost his father, similarly, so just turned it around.

  3. I have a friend who lost her dad to cancer. Could really relate to ur pain.

    Well written. All the best.

    Here's my story:

  4. Hi and welcome Raj, this is also adapted from a friend's grief, i think it is one of the most difficult stages we all have to go through in our lives.

  5. Left me shaken! Trust me, sharing it definitely!

  6. very touching dear...
    aWEsome thinking...
    keep on rolling like dat..

  7. It stirred the memory of some past experience in me... but the post is good... good attempt ...
    I wrote something on that experience too ... have a look if you like:


  8. Sometimes life takes away the best part of our life in a very unexpected way!!! I could feel the pain and emotions put in so well...

  9. I left a comment too, lost? :(

    Anyway I am moved after reading this post, I just wish this happens to no one!

  10. Hi there, first time here,

    the narrative is starkly put across to the reader,and it captures hard realities of life.
    Was the "bold" by design or default.?


  11. @Sourav, thanks...for sharing i know u're a marketing GURU!

    @Stranger, welcome and yes will keep writing, U keep reading!

    @Ritz, Thanks dear, read yr post...its really good! all the best!

    @Cute Priya, welcome and thanks. but it happens to all of us, in some way or the other.

    @Sourav, not lost...not moderated...and thanks once again.

    @Gyanban, welcome and thnks for being so appreciative. The bold was people who want to just skim and not read.

  12. Pata hai I lost one friend due to oral cancer ..I know how painful it is.. he squuezed out all the property his parents owned.. and brings tears in my eyes thinking about...
    I am sorry to hear about the loss

    god bless you..and keep writing ..followed you..

    and good lcuk for the contest.. for me u r a winner ...coz you fought the pain...

    my story is here...

  13. Hi DayDreamer, thanks for your encouraging words, yes cancer is very painful, especially for the family, Ive lost a very close family member to the disease.
    Thanks once more for the generous compliments. wish u luck too.

  14. Startling post. Well written to the extent that it got under my skin and will linger for a bit! It is tough to see someone you love die slowly.

  15. A heavy one..

    Liked the way you ended "But at the end of it I knew he was in a better place, in peace and without misery".


  16. first time here.. that is a very sad story and yes a very strong emotion.. glad to know it was a fiction.. hope no one is in such a stand.. it is a merciless torture

  17. @Sangi yes i agree, thanks.

    @Anand, thanks

    @Hema, welcome dear, and though its fiction here, happens to lots of people around, so lets pray no-one has to go through it ever.

  18. Dr Bharat Desai
    I wish I will share my father's death story.
    He was 88 years old having no physical problem---sharp memory, perfect digestion, good hearing,vision and smell.
    One fine morning,he said I donot want to die suffering and making others suffer. He said I want to stop eating and drinking any water now. He died at his will.


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